The NFC West is a mess…next week Seattle plays the Rams…the winner is the division champion and in the playoffs. If it’s the Rams, they’ll be the 10th 8-8 team to make the playoffs. If it’s the Seahawks, at 7-9 they’ll be the first playoff team with a losing record, not counting the strike season of 1982. But there’s more…
Unless St. Louis beats Seattle by 29 points, each of the 4 teams in the division will finish the season allowing more points than they scored. The other 3 teams are well out of striking distance, at -107, -72, and -114. Ever happened before? Yes, same division, 2004 and again in 2006. More amazingly, it happened one other time, with a 5-team division, the 1978 NFC Central. That year the Vikes and Packers finished tied for first at 8-7-1, the Vikes winning the tiebreaker.
The solution? No divisions…2 16-team Conferences. List ‘em top to bottom, draw a line…above it, playoffs…below it, out. Done and done. What would the schedule look like? Well, assuming we’re bumped up to an 18-game season, each team would play its other Conference mates once, for 15 games. The remaining 3 games would be against teams in the other Conference. You could do that 2 ways…on a rotating basis, so that over a set period of years, every team meets every other team at least once. The other way would be match-ups based on the previous season’s 1-16 ranking…stronger teams playing each other, weaker teams ditto.
For example, 3 weeks of the season would be Inter-Conference weeks. Based on the previous year’s rankings, the first IC week would pit 1-1, 2-2, 3-3, etc., down to 16-16. The 2nd IC week would shift the rankings by one, so that 1-2, 2-3, 3-4, 4-5, 5-6, 6-7, 7-8, 8-9, 9-10, 10-11, 11-12, 12-13, 13-14, 14-15, 15-16, 16-1. The 3rd IC week would shift the rankings by one in the other direction, so that 2-1, 3-2, 4-3, 5-4, 6-5, 7-6, 8-7, 9-8, 10-9, 11-10, 12-11, 13-12, 14-13, 15-14, 16-15, 1-16. Thus each team’s 3 IC games would be against the teams that ranked equal to it, one above it, and one below it in the previous season, with the rankings wrapping around bottom to top. Sounds complicated, but once you think about it, it works…it’s certainly easier to understand than today’s system!
B*A*K*E*R*S D*O*Z*E*N
(1) In their farewell article to Larry King, the Wall Street Journal referred to his
“Lite-Brite-esque map backdrop”…I always thought they were marbles, but OK…
(2) End-of-life planning is now called the yearly “well-visit”…what’s well about being dead?
(3) Our school was so small, driver-ed & sex-ed were held in the same car.
(4) …reminds me of the company whose signs read:
POOLS FILLED, SEPTIC TANKS EMPTIED, SEPARATE TRUCKS
(5) “I will honor Christmas in my heart, and try to keep it all the year.” — E. Scrooge.
(6) As quiet and selfless as a Christmas candle burning…
(7) Interesting new tradition…people putting valuable rare coins in the
Salvation Army’s Red Kettle…just hope they have a numismatist on staff!
(8) You learn something new every day…those things that uncurl when you blow them
on New Years Even are called “blowouts”…as kids we used to call them “paper tongues.”
(9) 3D TVs aren’t selling…who besides Ed Norton wants to watch wearing a Capt. Video helmet?
(10) I’d tell you I’ve got next year‘s Christmas shopping done…but then you’d hate me all year.
(11) For the life of me I will never understand how someone
can steal someone else’s snow shovel…for what, drugs?
(12) The job of advertising today: to convince you “jeans for under $50″ is normal…
(13) HGTV…the Home & Garden cable network…would that qualify as “porn” for women?
POUTINE-ON-A-STICK
I know, this looks like a Photoshop job, but it’s completely real. A hairless cat that happens to have some hair. Its name is “Ugly Bat Boy,” it resides at a veterinarian’s office, and you can find its story on YouTube. Me, I dig cats, and all cats look like that under their fur…
Podcasts at http://stolfpod.podbean.com and http://thewholething.podbean.com
Daily blogs at http://stolf.wordpress.com and http://deepfriedhoodsiecups.wordpress.com
More bloggage at http://travelingcyst.blogspot.com and http://www.examiner.com/retro-pop-culture-in-watertown/mark-john-astolfi
Resume and audio samples at http://home.rr.com/mastolfi
