Stolf’s Blog 8/26/2010

I was at Wal*Mart the other day, and heard a guy say something that I don’t think I’ve heard in literally 50 years. He was shopping with his small son, and this kid, obviously a big sausage fan, had gotten his hands on a big roll of Jimmy Dean’s, that he was just itchin’ to take home. The man looked at it and said: “No, that’s not a good price.” I can remember shopping with my Dad, and he’d say that. Being single, with no family, I more or less buy what I want. But as I’ve mentioned, I’m a big Chef Boy-Ar-Dee booster, nothing fancy for me.

BTW…somebody mentioned re yesterday, “Shooter”? Yeah, like Shooter Jennings, Waylon’s son, actually Waylon Jr., nicknamed Shooter from birth. He says he has heard 2 family stories: his mother Jessie Colter knew a woman with a son named Shooter, and she thought it had a cool western twang to it. The other story came from his dad, that he pee’d on the nurse. See, when it’s a person’s name, it doesn’t mean somebody who shoots somebody else…its just name! That really is how it works. Honest.

Like the Chevrolet Avalanche. They had some trepidation about naming their big SUV/pickup after a snow-slide that, let’s be realistic, often kills people. But when they tested the name, people liked it, so they went with it. The common theme to the comments was: It’s 2 different things…one’s a snow-slide, one’s a truck. Yeah, and a hockey team, too. (How about an expansion team: the Shreveport Shooters.)

B*A*K*E*R*S   D*O*Z*E*N

(1) My cousin thinks: The smallest deed is better than the biggest intention. I agree.

(2) Accused of being two-faced, just say: If I was, would I be using THIS one??

(3) Finest sandpaper? Home stores, 600 grit…auto parts stores, 2000-3000 grit…  Micro-Mesh goes as high as 12,000 grit…used to restore optical clarity to aircraft windows.

(4) First TV appearance for Herb Alpert & Tijuana Brass was on Al Hirt’s “Fanfare,”
July 31, 1965, a summer replacement for Saturday’s “Jackie Gleason Show.” I saw it!

(5) Absolute freedom is a logical impossibility…for example, I am not free to enslave you.

(6) Remember the 1964 Plymouth Barracuda (“Bac-a-ruda”) with the
big glass-window fastback roof? That was a “station wagon”…the ad said so.

(7) Quote of month, British actress Mrs. Patrick Campbell (1865-1940):
~~~ “Everything was going splendidly until my bosom barked.” ~~~
(She was trying to sneak a Pekingese through customs…)

(8) When I’m out and about, and my cell-phone rings, I always answer it
with the place I’m at: ‘yello, Wal*Mart parking lot…Usually gets a chuckle.

(9) Famous people born in Roswell, New Mexico…
John Denver, before the UFO crashed…Demi Moore, after.

(10) The good thing about being imperfect is the joy it brings to others.

(11) According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention,
cows kill about 20 people a year in the United States. But we’re winning.

(12) Aren’t you glad…on Mission: Impossible, everybody in the Eastern European
People’s Republic speaks English…otherwise we’d only understand half the episode.

(13) Old saying: Take heed of enemies reconciled, and of meat twice boiled.


There may have been longer-running print ad campaigns, but this one’ll do for now. 12 years, with no change in format, that’s something. Well, over the years, the soapy people in the photo got up-to-date hair-dos, but that’s pretty much it. I like the example above. It’s like you’re right there with her in the show– oh, never mind.

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