Stolf’s Blog 11/29/2010

My letters to the most read newspaper in the country never get printed, so I’m present the latest one here…this is in response to a review of the book “How I Killed Pluto and Why it Had it Coming” written by Dr. Michael E. Brown, the astronomer whose discovery of a larger planet beyond Pluto lead to its ultimate demotion…it is now a “minor planet,” sort of what used to be called an asteroid…

With all due respect to Mike Brown, he didn’t “kill” Pluto. It’s still a planet, and will be at least until the last of those who learned about the Solar System prior to 2006 are dead, and I wouldn’t be surprised if well beyond that as well. What 5% of the world’s astronomers voted for is irrelevant to normal people and even to many astronomers. Keep in mind: Pluto is still the biggest object in the Kuiper Belt, big enough to have been detected even in the “primitive” conditions of 1930. Eris is nowhere near the Kuiper Belt; it’s in the “scatter disc” region, roughly three times as far from the Sun as Pluto. You want classifications? From the Tenth Planet’s point of view, the other nine are the “Inner Planets,” even Pluto. Location, location, location.

B*A*K*E*R*S  D*O*Z*E*N

(1) Between 1840 and 1878, several astronomers claimed they saw a planet
closer to the Sun that Mercury…they named it Vulcan (honest!)…not seen since.

(2) Many of the things we need to be grateful for are those that didn’t happen…

(3) I thought “Paper Jamz” was a clever name for what were apparently
toy guitars, based on the low prices…turns out they are made of cardboard,
no strings, with imbedded sensors that respond to touch and make “music”…

(4) Do football helmets still crash into each other at the start of Monday Night
Football? Does the network get fined by the NFL every time they run that?…

(5) Terex Corp. calls one segment of its business “materials processing”…
CEO Ron DeFeo explains: We take big rocks and turn them into small ones…

(6)  George Carlin said: It’s a dog’s life…ever seen a dog wearing a wrist-watch?

(7)    Richard Lewis: Being in love is the most glorious 2 and a half days of your life.

(8) ~~~~ It happened again…the Clock Beat me… ~~~~

(9) Probably just a typo and not a true mistake…Xmas tree advertised as “pre-lite.”

(10) Foster Brooks at the Johnny Carson roast: “I remember
the night when Johnny called Ed McMahon’s wife Ed McWoman.”

(11) The complete line from The Godfather:
“He’s a businessman. I”ll make him an offer he can’t refuse.” *

(12) Wall Street Journal has a headline fetish…when speaking of gold, it uses the word
“glister,” as Shakespeare did in The Merchant of Venice, instead of the modern “glitter.”
A little silly, an affectation, harmless really…unless you never saw the word before…

(13) Josh Billings, an American humorist in the shadow of Mark Twain, said:
When young, we run into difficulties…when old, difficulties run into us…

* In the book: “He’s a businessman,” said the Don blandly. “I’m make him…” etc


Meat-ball flavored crackers…those really were the days…Am I the only who wonders why there aren’t any meatballs pictured on the box?

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