Stolf’s Blog 12/11/2010

Time for a wee bit of Yuletide revisionism. Mistletoe, as I’m sure you’re aware, is a parasite. Yes, in a heavy infestation, it can kill a tree, especially in times of drought. On the other hand, it’s been discovered that stands of trees do better with mistletoe than without it. This is because mistletoe attracts birds that feed on it, and they in turn aid in the pollination of the mistletoe and the host tree as well. Nature’s like that…an organism doesn’t have to be spectacularly successful to be successful. That’s just how it is.

I have a saying: Use less paper, save the trees! is like saying: Eat less pizza, save the tomatoes! This is especially true with Christmas trees, virtually all of which are grown on farms, and harvested after 10 years of growth. And I don’t know if you’ve noticed this, but I have: The older you get, the faster trees grow.

B*A*K*E*R*S  D*O*Z*E*N

(1) Out with the old, in with the new…and sneak the old back in thru the window.

(2) The trouble with ulcers, you can have them and still not be a success.

(3) Brother-in-law Ray is hoping for a White Christmas…or at least one a little less gray.

(4) The Most Interesting Man in the World…he’s the life of parties he hasn’t attended…

(5) …and for Christmas, his body produces limited edition red & green ear wax…

(6) First, comedian Paul Mooney wrote the book “Black is the New White”…then,
one year ago, Taco Bell introduced the Blackjack Taco with “Black is the New Taco.”

(7) …Taco Bell was founded in Downey, CA in 1962 by
ex-Marine Glen Bell, who died in January of this year, age 86.

(8) There’s a fine line between an open mind and a hole in the head.


(10) Difference between learning to play golf & learning to drive…
learning to play golf, you generally don’t hit anything…

(11) This just in: Santa is lactose intolerant…leave cookies & Soy Nog.

(12) The Word Doctor just took “Can we all just get along?” off life-support.

(13) Local supermarket has special parking spots designated “Customer with Child.”
I park there, figuring your Inner Child is included in that…that’s inclusive, right?…


More from 1954…they got some nerve saying that’s “authentic” Tonto gear, with all those feathers…um, he wasn’t gay, right? And Scrabble was not made by Parker Brothers or Milton Bradley, but by Selchow and Righter, now part of Hasbro. But everybody had the right to try their hand at a variation. And yes, there are versions in foreign languages, even Arabic. Don’t believe me? Dig…

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