Stolf’s Blog 9/13/2011

As I explained to the lady on the phone, the trouble with so-called “self-publishing” websites is that they make their money off of you…you have to pay a fee for whatever services they provide. Well and good, but the traditional publishing “model” is that they make money off your book, not you. If and when I pen a tome, my “contribution” is my hard work, not my savings. Which is not to say I couldn’t change my mind sometime in the future, but geez. She did say to me: Sounds like you need a literary agent. I asked: Do they make money off me or my book? She said: Your book. See? That’s what I’m talking about.

§       ¶       §       ¶       §       ¶       §

B*A*K*E*R*S   D*O*Z*E*N

(1) Something I learned early on: you don’t have to be a beauty to be beautiful.

(2) Saw this headline: No More Mail? What Would Ben Franklin Think?…
So I thought, why ask why?…let’s text him and find out…

(3) …I said “text,” not “sext”…altho they did have sexting back in those days…
of course, it was done from horseback, but it was pretty much the same thing…

(4) Rita Rudner: Having large breasts doesn’t make women stupid…it makes men stupid.

(5) I’ve seen many great ideas over my lifetime…one
of the simplest and sweetest has to be the therapy dog…

(6) Sunday, 49er Ted Ginn Jr. became the 12th player to return a kickoff and a punt for a
touchdown in the same game…1st to do it on successive possessions…59 seconds apart.

(7) …re football, yes there is a 3rd Manning brother…Cooper…a standout wide receiver
in high school, had back problems and never played in college…he’s the oldest of the 3…

(8) …but Clay Manning, the “4th brother,” is a figment
of satiric newspaper The Onion’s imagination, sorry…

(9) Judy Tenuta reveals: I’m attracted to a man who’s
both sensitive and macho…I’m dating a gay trucker…

(10) Yesterday they were on Hollywood Squares…today they’re judges on a
talent show or participants in a daytime yak-fest…nothing really changes, does it?

(11) If I could have lunch with any celebrity, who?…Sarah Silverman?…no way,
the sexual tension would be unbearable…Penn Jillette?…OK, world of difference…

(12) Mel Brooks once mentioned the Twin Cities…St. Paul and Haifa…ha ha…

(13) Cool Daddy was in a rock group that came thiiiiiiiiiis close to achieving
stardom…the Clarence Cleanwater Survival…their big tune was “Proud Larry”…

POUTINE-ON-A-STICK

These didn’t win the New Yorker magazine caption contest? Then the New Yorker always was an ass…but check back here tomorrow, pretty please?

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