Stolf’s Blog 1/30/2012

If you’ve been reading this blog for a while, you are probably aware that I like baseball stats…but real stats…not that phony baloney pseudo-mathematics you get from those delusional Sabermeticians. And here’s a case in point…did Adam Dunn have the worst season ever as a batter in 2011? Well, according to the Sabermenudniks, you take hits plus doubles minus one half triples minus one third homers divided by the square root of at bats to the 1.5 power…or something along those general lines…but let’s stay grounded in reality, shall we?

By way of contest, the trouble with the best season as a batter…considering the tried and true batting average of hits divided by at bats…is in deciding who should qualify. After all, you can’t give it to the guy who goes 1/1 or 2/3 for the entire season. Consequently, there have been various ways of determining who qualifies for the batting crown. It’s been codified since 1920…before that it was more loosey-goosey…generally, you had to appear in 100 games…but for example in 1914 Ty Cobb won the crown with only 98 games played. The Commissioner liked him, and said in effect: Gentlemen, this is how it’s gonna be. Today it’s 3.1 times games scheduled, which figures to 502 plate appearances…altho obviously only at bats are used in the actual calculation.

Now using the rules in place at the time, the all-time season low would be Dodgers’ 2nd-baseman Bill Bergen…in 1909, appearing in 112 games, he went 48 for 346 for an average of .139. Using the current rule, the record is Rob Deer in 1991…80 for 448 or .179 Last season, the White Sox’ Adam Dunn went 66 for 415 for a paltry .159. The trouble is, he fell 6 plate appearances shy of qualifying for the batting crown, so that would be that…can’t count it, right? Well, not so fast…

There is an exception…and it’s been evoked twice…to the batting crown rule…if you were to add as many hitless at bats to a player’s total as plate appearances needed to qualify, and a player still lead the league, he’d be the batting champion. Well, you can’t do exactly that “at the other end,” because hitless at bats would drive the average down even further…so why not do the opposite! Thus, since Dunn fell 6 plate appearances short, add in 6 hits and 6 at bats and see where he stands. So hits are 66+6=72, at bats 415+6=421…average .171…new record!…Dunn and done…

B*A*K*E*R*S  D*O*Z*E*N

(1) Vinyl Lives!!!…altho old-fashioned “records” never did go away…
but last year, sales of CDs were down 5%…platters up 36%…waxy!!!

(2) Speaking of numbers, in 1950 were were 2300 people in the US
US 100 years old or older…today, that number is 70,000…and they
predict 600,000 by the year 2050…when I’ll turn 99…see ya then?…

(3) I can’t imagine these not being a big hit…unless
you like happen to like eating sugary chalk…which I do…

(4) George Carlin: Nice family restaurant…every table has an argument going.

(5) Local new baby named Skylie…sounds like a compromise
between 2 other names…but not our place to judge, I suppose…

(6) There’s a legal age for getting married…why not one for getting divorced?

(7) Headlines you can’t make up…altho golly, I do this anyway…
send Mali a goat…I thought everybody—…oh, never mind…

(8) Word for the Day…flexitarian…that’s a vegetarian who
sometimes eats meat…what used to be called “not a vegetarian.”

(9) …and You Might Be a Baby Boomer If…you prefer reused to repurposed.

(10) …or as you can say at the Olive Garden…That pasta boat has sailed…

(11) Cool Daddy’s new pinstripe suit…no wonder
it was so cheap….the stripes go horizontally…

(12) I envy people who can just turn their brains on and off…
my switch broke…in the “on” position…I think around 1987…

(13)  Buy Hallmark cards…because let’s face it,
you’ll never think of anything clever on your own…

POUTINE-ON-A-STICK

Sitting at my pharmacy (not Walgreens), waiting for a prescription to be filled…yeah, I’m old school…I get a prescription from my doctor, not a script from my doc…to me, it’s worth the extra time to say the complete words. Anyway, I noticed various styles of plastic gloves, all with the phrase “medical exam quality.” Checking the internet, it appears most say that, or else “medical grade.” Some say “exam quality,” but that could be confusing…are these the gloves you’d wear to take your SAT’s?

But I had been thinking about how many items you buy in a grocery store say “restaurant style”…while of course restaurants tout their fare as “home style.” Which leads me to conclude that no matter where you eat, you’re at the wrong place! 😉 😉 So what other “grades” of plastic gloves are there? Well, obviously, “restaurant style,” right? All food preparers today must sheath their mandibles. But then a thought struck me…how would “home style” plastic gloves differ from “medical exam quality”? Not the kind you use to wash dishes?…or maybe…no, best not to think about it…

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