stolf’s blog 8/20/2012

Saw a cable news talking-head lady referred to in the paper as “openly gay”…so what other kind is there? Well, closeted, obviously, but is there anyone today that a responsible journalist would describe as “gay, even tho they’ve never publicly admitted it”? Don’t think so, my friend. Easier to pass judgement on figures from the past…Liberace was, Abe Lincoln wasn’t, etc. And it sure is interesting how it’s OK to be gay, but not OK to wonder if someone is. Would it be out of line to suggest that straights tend to answer: “What difference does it make?”…where gays would answer: “I wish.”

For for the record, most of those actors who adopted a swishy persona back in the day really were homosexuals…Paul Lynde, Charles Nelson Reilly, Alan Sues, Rip Taylor…one exception being Louis Nye, for whom it was just a put-on. Harvey Korman is a question mark, meaning he never openly said one way or the other…web opinion actually leans towards not. I believe the rule today is, if they don’t say so publicly themselves, you have to assume not…

And Jack Benny of course was straight…it seems that the thespian tradition of the effeminate yet hetero (or as my spellchecker keeps insisting on spelling it, “heater”) male has gone by the boards….think Gale Gordon, Jonathan Harris, et al….or are they just “fussy”? But even Benny played it for laughs…when you-know-what was decriminalized in English in 1967, he quipped: “They legalized my walk!”

But it’s also interesting to observe that nobody would ever say “I am not an ax-murderer…not that there’s anything wrong with being an ax-murderer”…whereas…well,  you get it…

B*A*K*E*R*S   D*O*Z*E*N

(1)  Things That Mean the Exact Opposite #27: “It’s nothing personal“…

(2)  Do not be dismayed when the government approves
of an illegal activity, in this case immigration…perhaps
next they’ll approve of something illegal that YOU like to do…

(3)  …altho it is a puzzlement…illegal immigration
gets a pass…but illegal parking doesn’t… 😉 😉

(4)  Mowing his lawn, Cool Daddy wears a
t-shirt that reads Do Not Resuscitate…

(5)  …the rest of the time, he’s old school, wearing t-shirts
that don’t say anything at all…he calls them “mutes”…

(6)  Women will get angry if you say they’re illogical…they also get
angry if you call them logical…well, that’s because…oh, never mind…

(7)  I would say that, in general, setting a good example is vastly
overrated…altho recently, I was delighted to discover it can work…

(8)  A study of past Olympic athletes found that bronze medal winners were
happier on the whole than silver winners…the silvers wondered why they
didn’t win the gold, while the bronzes were glad to not have finished 4th…

(9)  …that sounds like a joke, but its true…but why would they even
do such a study in the first place?…I’ve been saying this for years:
there isn’t enough in the world for everybody to have something to do…

(10)  Guess what?…Responding to rudeness with rudeness…is rude!…

(11)  Since you can’t believe anything they say,
vote for the candidate that says the least…

(12)  The new campaign rhetoric: “My esteemed opponent…is unhinged”…

(13)  Why do they let crazy people write newspaper columns?…
one recently said that saying Sikhs aren’t Muslims…is anti-Muslim…

POUTINE-ON-A-STICK

Racial sensitivity is getting so out of whack it’s hard to fathom…case in point: The Bank of Canada recently rejected this design for the back of their $100 notes. A focus group thought that the lady peering into the microscope looked too “Asian.” Now a few years ago, this might have been construed as anti-Asian…I mean, imagine objecting because a drawing of a person looked too “Black.”

But the thinking today is twofold: it plays into the “negative” stereotype that Asians are smart…and also, other bank notes don’t have other ethnicities to balance out the diversity. Do you see an Asian lady here? Sorry, I just don’t. Oh yeah, and some also said the color of this bank note was racist, so help me. I will say this: it sure is a sloppy design overall, but that’s the preference these days…

POUTINE-ON-A-STICK EXTRA

And speaking of bees in bonnets…some are objecting to this Joe DiMaggio stamp because they think it looks like he’s batting left-handed, and of course he was a righty. If you notice where his hands are placed on the bat…right hand above left hand…this is exactly correct for a right-handed batter. When I first saw this picture, I naturally assumed he had just hit the ball and this was his follow-thru…again, the placement of the hands tells you that instinctively.  The trouble is, the bat is in an unnatural position…this was explained as artistic license. In any event, the Postal Service is not going to change it, which sounds like the sensible course to me.

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