stolf’s blog for 9/3/2012…fast becoming the least-read on the net!

Once upon a time, I wanted to be a high school math teacher…in that alternate universe, I would have offered students extra credit for bringing in math mistakes from newspapers, advertisements, etc. So what do we make of this, from a review of a book about Strom Thurmond?

For the record, the South Carolina State Senate convenes on the second Tuesday of January…if that was the case in 1933, that would be January 10. His last day in the US Senate was January 3, 2003…he died in June of that year. Now technically, his political career, so-defined, lasted 6 days shy of 70 years. 3+6=10? Yes, because 70 years would have been “in the books” at the close of work on January 9, 2003…January 10th would have been the first day of his 71st year. Thus, if we round it up to 70 years even, he certainly had a career that lasted or ran for 7 decades.

The problem is the use of the word spanned. For example, the first professional baseball team, the Cincinnati Red Stockings, was established in 1869…thus it would be proper to say that baseball as a paid profession has spanned 3 centuries…altho it obviously hasn’t lasted or run for 300 years. When I read the above underlined quote, that’s certainly what I took it to mean, and immediately noticed the discrepancy.

Because the word decade can be used in 2 ways. Taken as any period of 10 years, Strom Thurmond’s 1st political decade was 1933-1942, his 7th was 1993-2002, plus 3 days into his 8th decade. The “span” here is 1st thru 8th. But a decade can also mean those 10 years identified by the same numeral in the tens place…thus the 20s, the 60s, the 90s, etc…and BTW, dunno how you do it, but I call the 1st decade of the 21st century “the 2 thousands”…since I called the years 2-thousand-one, 2-thousand-six, etc. This way, his 1st decade was 1930-39, this 7th 1990-1999, and his 8th 2000-2009. Either way, I’d say he spanned 8 decades, not 7…extra credit…very good!

B*A*K*E*R*S  D*O*Z*E*N

(1)  FOOB…the magic washday miracle!…and now
introducing new BOOF…it’s FOOB with bleach!…

(2)  Today, they probably film “deleted scenes” on purpose to include in a
movie’s DVD release…but back in the day, the director thought his work was
better without them, right?…interesting to see all these years later, but still…

(3)  Woody Allen said: Today we don’t throw
away our garbage…we make it into TV shows…

(4)  We’ve all had occasion to replenish…but did you ever plenish?…
you must have…it’s an old Scottish word meaning to supply, furnish, or fill…

(5)  New style among Baby Boomers…wearing 2 pairs of glasses at once…

(6)  So what the heck does the word semi-controversial mean?…that there’s
controversy about it being controversial in the first place?…or something else?…

(7)  Feel like there are bees living inside your head?…let ’em out!…

(8)  Nothing I read all week made more sense than this sign on a truck:
IF YOU CAN’T SEE MY MIRRORS, I CAN’T SEE YOU…

(9)  Are we really getting that stupid?…if you have to tell them not
to eat their earbuds, I’d say yeah…but talk about mixed messages…

(10)  Some cool names in the September baseball call-ups…that’s not
how New Mexico spells it, but so what?…also, welcome Didi Gregorius
from Holland, Jurickson Profar* from Curaçao, and Tanner Scheppers…

*Hit home run in his first Major League at bat Sunday for the Rangers…

(11)  If you love someone…set them free…and if
they don’t come back, call them when you’re drunk…

(12)  Ever notice…workplace shootings never
seem to happen at gun shops…I’m just sayin’…

(13)  This presidential campaign will be nasty, but nothing like 1800,
when challenger Thomas Jefferson called incumbent John Adams…
a hideous hermaphroditical character, which has neither the force and
firmness of a man, nor the gentleness and sensibility of a woman…yeesh!

POUTINE-ON-A-STICK

It’s a true fact that the worst monster movies still had great trailers and posters…Reptilicus is the perfect example…I can still remember ogling that ad when I saw it in the papers in 1961. Despite the cheesiest monster this side of the Giant Claw, this is still a decent movie, well-plotted and suspenseful…until you actually see the Beanie-and-Cecil-eque puppet monster. Worth hunting down the Danish original version, which actually has the creature flying!

But popular enough to spawn an 8-issue series of comic books…albeit by weak sister Carlton, which would latch onto anything that moved. And watch for clips on episodes of The Beverly Hillbillies, Green Acres, and The Monkees. Gotta admit, that “nature” line from the trailer is a doozie…I mean, can it do that?

POUTINE-ON-A-STICK EXTRA

Last week I pointed out that one of the things that means the opposite of what is says is: It’s nothing personal. Well, at least this kid took it all in stride. This approach sounds so darned reasonable, but is it really? I say no…I say there is no way to “even things up” that’s fair to everyone. And not only is it unfair to Demias, it’s also unfair to the kid who might otherwise have figured out a way to stop him. That’s the whole point of athletic competition…and competition in real life, for that matter. BTW, this was from last year…he’s now in the 7th grade and the restrictions are off…so he can play some football the real way…

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